The Mom in the Dumps

I am depressed! I am figuring up my bills and my income and the two just don't figure up. I don't know why money always seems to be at the forefront of a lot of people's lives. At least it seems to be in my life. This month I cut myself to tight and ended up with no money the last two weeks before my pay day. Thankfully my daughter came up with the money to pay for my cell phone or they would be shutting it off today. Having m.s. I hate to be without a phone in case I need to call for help. Although Perfect told me last night that I can always dial 911 and it will work. That's a load off of my mind. So I am figuring up my bills for next month and my check for next month and it looks like another tight month. God I hate being poor!! . I live on a disability check that I get on the 3rd of each month and it has to last all month. I just don't figure things right cuz once I pay my bills I am always running short before the next pay day. Thankfully Perfect has been buying what I need until pay day. I don't want anybody to have to pay my bills or my expenses so I guess I will have to figure differently this next month. Anyway I don't get paid for another 6 days so it will be tight until then. Hopefully this next month I figure things differently so nobody has to help me in the month before I get paid again. So maybe I will get up and take a walk. They say exercise is good for depression. Being bi-polar and with the m.s. I seem to be fighting depression a lot. My back and neck hurt from degenerative discs disease. I am just a mess. This is a really depressing blog. On the up side, a week or so ago, my two boys and their partners & I got together at Lex Fori's and my second son's house for dinner. Perfect cooked some really good chicken and then 4 of us played board games. The main reason I moved down here was to be close to my family, and nights like that definitely make it feel worth the move. It's been a long time since I have been able to spend time like that before. Except for number 1 son that is in Egypt and his wife I had everybody together. Although Lex & I lost the first game it was certainly worthwhile to play. I guess I need to concentrate on times like that instead of worrying so much about my financial situation. I can't seem to do much about it and it's definitely more up-lifting to concentrate on the good times. I enjoy spending time with both my son's and their better halves that it really is more productive concentrating on that. So I guess this blogging thing is good for me because as I am writing it seems to put things in perspective. So I will make an effort to continue to blog and concentrate on my blessings. They number quite a few!