The Mom in the Dumps

I am depressed! I am figuring up my bills and my income and the two just don't figure up. I don't know why money always seems to be at the forefront of a lot of people's lives. At least it seems to be in my life. This month I cut myself to tight and ended up with no money the last two weeks before my pay day. Thankfully my daughter came up with the money to pay for my cell phone or they would be shutting it off today. Having m.s. I hate to be without a phone in case I need to call for help. Although Perfect told me last night that I can always dial 911 and it will work. That's a load off of my mind. So I am figuring up my bills for next month and my check for next month and it looks like another tight month. God I hate being poor!! . I live on a disability check that I get on the 3rd of each month and it has to last all month. I just don't figure things right cuz once I pay my bills I am always running short before the next pay day. Thankfully Perfect has been buying what I need until pay day. I don't want anybody to have to pay my bills or my expenses so I guess I will have to figure differently this next month. Anyway I don't get paid for another 6 days so it will be tight until then. Hopefully this next month I figure things differently so nobody has to help me in the month before I get paid again. So maybe I will get up and take a walk. They say exercise is good for depression. Being bi-polar and with the m.s. I seem to be fighting depression a lot. My back and neck hurt from degenerative discs disease. I am just a mess. This is a really depressing blog. On the up side, a week or so ago, my two boys and their partners & I got together at Lex Fori's and my second son's house for dinner. Perfect cooked some really good chicken and then 4 of us played board games. The main reason I moved down here was to be close to my family, and nights like that definitely make it feel worth the move. It's been a long time since I have been able to spend time like that before. Except for number 1 son that is in Egypt and his wife I had everybody together. Although Lex & I lost the first game it was certainly worthwhile to play. I guess I need to concentrate on times like that instead of worrying so much about my financial situation. I can't seem to do much about it and it's definitely more up-lifting to concentrate on the good times. I enjoy spending time with both my son's and their better halves that it really is more productive concentrating on that. So I guess this blogging thing is good for me because as I am writing it seems to put things in perspective. So I will make an effort to continue to blog and concentrate on my blessings. They number quite a few!

The Mom from the Country cont.

Oh my God! I waited 2 weeks to get my referral to a pain specialist that my so called dr. referred me to. They called yesterday and I missed their call. Today I started calling this morning in hopes of getting an appointment. I finally reach somebody to get the appt.. and in the course of our conversation I discover they can't prescribe pain meds. Obviously there was a lack of communication from my dr. to their office.. I asks this lady what I am supposed to do now. She says she doesn't know but maybe I should contact my dr. to get some help. Well, that aint happening. I remember that with the script for my pain meds from my country dr. that she had included a name of a pain specialist. I make the call and leave a message. In the interim my phone is going to be shut off because I screwed up on my bill paying last month. So I will have to keep calling from Sadie Grey's phone until I reach somebody. My hopes are that they can prescribe pain meds. Whoever heard of a pain specialist that can't prescribe pain meds? Well, I found them. Hopefully this next place can help. We shall see....

Mom from the Country

Being from the country I seemed to have been spoiled by my family dr. I am currently on some pain medication for my multiple sclerosis and my degenerative discs disease in my back and neck. I have been seeing my family doctor for quite some time and each month she would write a new script for my pain meds. I moved down here to the city in August and I began my search for a new family doctor. I found one...sort of. I went to see him to get a medication refill on my pain meds and he informs me that noone in the office can write pain scripts. This is on a Friday and I am going to be out of my meds soon. Not only was he not able to write my script, he was of no help on what to do next. I called my family doc and left a message with her telling her of my plight. So this weekend Lex Fori and I beging our search for an emergency room that would help me. We first went to County hospital. That was a joke. A lot of crazies in there waiting to be seen. People yelling at each other and one man called this lady patient a pscho...she was but he didn't need to tell her that. Realizing that it was going to be a long wait we went to another hospital. It was way out in the boonies and when Lex got a little confused we found ourselves taking the scenic route. At last we end up at a new hospital and I am in and out of there in an hour and a half. With a dose being given to me there and a script for 3 more days I felt like I was getting somewhere. So Monday I get the mail and it is a note from my country doctor. She had enclosed a script for a month and also a name of a new doctor and a pain management doctor also. It seems as though doctors down here are not alowed to prescibe class A drugs. I need to go to a specialist for that. What a bunch of b.s. when I can't go to my family doctor and get help. After all I was used to being able to do that at home. On the up side I went fishing the other day with Sadie Grey. I hadn't been fishing in about 15 years. We were getting ready to go home with the only catch for the day being Sadie Greys when we saw fish jumping. I threw my bait in the water and lo and behold I caught one. It was a bass coming in a weight of probably a pound and half. It was awesome! I was so excited. It was a really good day I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I look forward to going again soon. I really wished Perfect would have been there to see it. He was really happy for me. Well, that's pretty much it for me for the last few weeks. I hope to blog again soon and not wait so long next time. I almost forgot, I was at Lex Foris house Sunday night and she cooked some awesome chicken. She is not used to being the cook and she had found a recipe for the chicken and decided to try it. Hoping the chicken didn't turn out dry like her other attempts she was really glad to find we had enjoyed the dinner a lot. It was really good and I think it prompted her to search out more recipes to try out on us. I look forward to the next attempts. This wouldn't be a big deal except for the fact that she really hasn't done much cooking and her last attempts didn't turn out so well. So on with the next recipes. Thanks Lex for a really good dinner.

The Mom About Town

It's been awhile since I have blogged. Not sure why I haven't cuz it's not because I've been too busy. Oh well on with my saga. Yesterday I actually got out and drove by myself to an A.A. meeting and to the post office and to the store. I did have to make a couple of calls home to get my bearings again but all in all I did pretty well. The meeting was good and I collected my 11 year chip. Eleven years of sobriety...wow! It has really gone by pretty fast when I look back. There were some shaky times in the 11 years but thankfully I had my sponsor or a close friend to bring me back to what's really important. That and the fact that alcohol would not only not help the situation but it would also make the situation worse. For the most part these days I don't even think about a drink which is good. Yesterday was my son's birthday. It was a nice day. Sadie baked a homemade cake and we had ice cream to go with it. Sometimes I feel so old. Like when one of my kids has another birthday....lol I've really been praying for my other son and his fiancee'. She lost her job due to her illness and he had been spending the time being Mr. Dad. He is has been pounding the pavement looking for work and it looks like he may have been successful. He will be laying pipe (very difficult labor). Hopefully he is able to do it because he has his own health problems. I know they have been through some really difficult times to put it mildly. His fiancee' still hasn't been able to get anything done for her health problems which has lead to some pretty bad depression. I know things are going to start getting better for them, I just wish it would start NOW! Anyway things are going pretty good. I have a drs. appt. with my new dr. That is good because then he can refer me to a pain specialist for my back. Things are slowly coming together. They say that moving is one of the top three stresses in life along with death and divorce. I believe it. It just seems to take so long to get acclimated to my new surroundings. Oh well, on with another day.